Breaking Free from Self-Hatred | Hayden Savage

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hayden

Life is filled with ups and downs, twists and turns. Yet often it is through these difficulties that we enact change and discover our true selves. At 22 years old Hayden’s acceptance of her transgender identity allowed her to break free from the self-hatred that chained her down for years.

When we first met Hayden she told us she was interested in getting into modelling. What she didn’t tell us was that she used to suffer from an extreme lack of confidence that bordered on self-hatred. She was shy at first, but a mysterious look in her eye showed us that beneath the gentle exterior was a fierce determination. After the viewing session, we sat down with Hayden to ask her about life and how it was growing up in a boys body.

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What was it like for you growing up? 

For a very long time in my life, I had nothing but hatred for myself. I hated everything about me. I had low confidence, low self-esteem, and no courage. It was only when I turned 22 and started to come to terms with my trans identity, that I began to accept myself. That I began to realise I could do better and that I needed to do better. Not for anyone else but myself.”

What helped you through this process of realization? 

“Having the courage to burn bridges. That and finally overcoming the fear of judgement.”

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How has life changed since you accepted your trans identity?

“I definitely feel a lot stronger and more confident now. My self-esteem’s gone way up. Throughout the last few years I’ve had many relationships and many breakups – bad breakups, good breakups – I’ve learnt from them all. I think after my most recent breakup I really started to come out of my shell a lot more and I realised that I could do better and that I need to do better. Not because it was a bad relationship, but because I need to be better for myself.”

How did your photo shoot impact you?

“It was definitely liberating to be able to show off and shine, to smile and laugh – I enjoyed the photo shoot and feel proud of myself for taking the first steps into modelling. It’s helped me realize that regardless of who you are, whatever your background and circumstances, you can utilize what you have strive to be great.”

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